There's a fine, fine line..

"There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time."

-- Kate Monster, Avenue Q

... 'nuf said. Pfft!

A Beach-y Affair

A couple of months back, I hatched a plan to go visit once and for all the paradise island of Boracay. I think almost everyone I know has already gone to the island except for me. I can just remember how J reacted one time when he was being offered by Pam for an assignment in Boracay. J said, "Boracay na naman?!" Thoughts in my head would go something like, "Pfft! Ako nga, hindi pa nakakapunta.."

Since the island's inception or perhaps it's rise to popularity, this is the first time that I will be setting foot on it. You can just imagine how my expectations started building up in my head -- picturesque views, beautiful people, powdery sand, clear waters, etc.

The night before the trip, after packing my clothes, and all other essentials items, I made sure I had enough space in my bag to accommodate the cameras that I was planning to bring. I want to make sure that I have all the necessary means to make this "first time" of mine memorable. If not for the photographers / lomographers that I have met, I would think that packing three cameras in my bag for a trip is insane. But that's not the case right now. For this trip I brought along my D40x, my Holga and the Jill's Vivitar (whom I received specific "care" instructions for).

For this trip, it was Cebu Pacific's fly me to the island. Well, to Kalibo to be exact since Cebu Pacific offered cheaper fares compared to that of the other airlines which land in Katiklan in an airport 1.5 hours away from Kalibo. I was scheduled to fly Sunday at 3:15pm. But due to some unforeseen events, Cebu Pacific had to cancel the 3:15pm flight and re-schedule it for 5:30am the following day. It was a day late for the beach but come to think of it, there isn't much to see in the beach when I fly at 3:15pm and arrive in Boracay at around 6pm.

Sooner than I expected, I was at the Manila Domestic Airport lining up to board the plane bound for Kalibo, Aklan. I was half-awake when I boarded the plan, but the warming sun greeted and started pushing me to get a camera a take a shot:

Sunrise as seen on air.

An hour later, I was on the road enroute to the Katiklan sea port. An hour and a half drive coupled with a 15-minute boat ride, I set foot for the first time in Boracay.

Boracay Island, early morning.

As soon got settled in.. I was on my swimming shorts armed with my camera heading out to the beach ready to shoot and capture as much of the island's beauty as well as having fun at the same time.

Nothing really interesting happened in the morning. I started getting frustrated and distracted (over lunch) that I should be able to take great pictures before heading back home. I tried shrugging it off and enjoyed my lunch. After lunch, a couple of interesting things showed up..

Lone foot print in the sand.

A girl watching after her family's slippers
while I take a picture of 'em.

A girl exercising or maybe showing off to
her buffed Japanese boyfriend watching from afar.

A dog taking a swim.

A kid mastering the technique in building the
sand castle of his dreams.

Even before the weather started changing it's mood, I decided to put down my camera and take a dip in the water. It sure was hot. Really hot. I started feeling all sticky from all the sun-block that I have applied earlier. The clear, cool water of the sea was more than enough to relax and cool my sweating, sticky, hot skin.

I enjoyed the water so much that I lost track of time. The last time I checked, the sun was high up in the sky giving off that hard afternoon light. The next thing I knew, subdued sunlight started coloring the island. It brought about additional life to the island's paradise scenery.

A boat anchored by the shore.

Dogs and its' owner playing catch.

Relaxing view from where I was sitting.

Late afternoon sun started drawing
beautiful silhouettes.

Sailboats paraded the horizon despite the sun's
desire to wrap up the day.

My first day in Boracay comes to a close.

It sure was a fun (first) day in Boracay. It could have been a lot more exciting and fun if it was enjoyed with a bunch of friends. Nonetheless, some time alone in an island as beautiful as this isn't too bad at all.

Para Sa Iyo Ito

It was February 3, 2007. Sunday. We only have seen each other for three times for less than 24 hours. I remember vividly how the television’s glare lit up your dark room. We were on your bed. I was laying on my back staring at the ceiling, thinking. You were laying on your side with your head supported by your left hand while you were looking at me. I was laying there scouring my rusty memory trying to figure out the correct answer to your question..

          “Kapag nasagot mo tanong ko, ibig sabihin,
                             ikaw na talaga. Sige nga, kelan birthday ko?” 
                    “August 21?”

           “Hinde. Sige, isa pang try.”
                    “Umm.. August 10?”

           “Ano ba, August 7.”

Je jamias obtenu la droite de réponse.
Je pensai que je me se sourvins la date dorénavant.

Je ne rappelle pas des dates.
Je ne rappelle pas des conversations.
Je rapelle seulement des moments; en chaque détail de lui.

You’ve come a long way. No matter how clueless I am of it right now, I am pretty sure a lot of blessings has come your way –- I wish that you are continuously showered with them, non-stop. It would have been fun to celebrate your birthday with you, but for sure the people who love and care for you won’t fail making it a blast.

Vous passerez seulement votre vignts-sept ans une fois..
Appréciez et fairrez le chaque moment de dépassement compte..

je manque tout au sujet de vous. I wish I could be there with you.. 
     ..but I know I have to let you go.

joyeux 27ème anniversaire, RED!

So Yeah..

Regina, pehiram muna lyrics ng kanta mo..

I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go

 

Enough said.

A First in A Long Time

Ever since things went sour between me and RED, I haven't found myself in a real date. Most often than not, I would usually look for RED's traits with whomever I was out with. Well, mean as I am, I would start tuning myself out of the date whenever I have confirmed that RED's traits weren't in anyway possessed by my date. Obviously, I wasn't ready to go back dating yet.

A couple of weeks ago, I met LM in a place where "worthwhile" people are a rarity. Getting the inkling that LM was worth a try, I gave in. Sooner than I knew it, we have decided to go out on a date.

Yesterday, as I was contemplating on my ensemble for the night, I thought that I shouldn't give too much effort in preparing for the date. For all I know, it's going to end up like the others -- a disaster.

While I was dressing up, it started raining. It was as if the weather was telling me that ugly things were up ahead. But I shrugged off that thought and hurriedly got into my clothes and into a cab to meet up with LM.

Before meeting up, LM and I have decided that we'd be on a non-fancy date. I didn't have problems with that; I was on a budget and that setup definitely works for me. LM kept on mentioning something about this place in Katipunan, near Ateneo, that I am not really familiar with -- Flaming Wings.

We drove off to the place, and to my surprise, on a Saturday night, it was full of people students. Well it's sitting right in front of Ateneo, what can I expect?!

I would have thought it was disaster #1 for the night if not for the good great food that they serve, buffalo wings are their specialty. I learned from LM, who is a CCA graduate, that before regular chicken wings can be called buffalo wings, special sauces should be used in the recipe. This triggered LM to talk about sauces and marinades and mixes which gave me a hard time getting into the conversation. One, I really don't know anything about those things and two, I was trying to divide my attention between the great food and what LM was talking about. :D

A couple minutes more, the place quieted down. And I got the chance to talk and know LM a little bit more. After dinner, we decided to have a few sips of coffee. Even though Starbucks is just a couple of hops away, we drove off to Cafe Bretton in Tomas Morato for a more peaceful atmosphere. We chatted the night away with just a couple, maybe one or two instances finding ourselves in the awkward situation of a having nothing else to say. At the struck of midnight, we decided to call it a night.

From Tomas Morato, I could have just taken the cab to head home. But for some reason, I walked with LM towards where the car was. Inside the car, I got what I didn't expect: I heard LM utter the words "I had fun." coupled with a hug and a two kisses.

... on the cheek!

That pretty much made my night. And for the first time in months, I think I have enjoyed my date. And yeah, I think I had a real date.

 

*****

 

When I got home, I was already hoping for a second date with LM. I SMS'd and asked: Can I see you again?

LM replied: We'll see, Giff. =)

So, where do I stand? I don't know. 

Changes, Changes and more Changes

In a few hours, a colleague whom I was with in Canada a year ago, will be flying and landing in the US in the next 24hours. He is given another assignment: a 2-month US work assignment.

Honestly speaking, I am a bit saddened by the fact that I wasn't considered in another assignment such as this. Sure, I could try to come up with ridiculous reasons to pacify myself. I could even go ask the managers for answers. Will it be worth to ask if you already know that you'd receive a pre-fabricated answer?

Nah, I heard answers like that for several times already. Hearing another one of those answers will just make me sick.

 

*****

 

My team has already prepared for the time when two of our priced resources will be utilized by another client engagement. It came as a surprise to me that one of the new resources that just got in the team would be leaving us as well. Not that the resource is going in an out-of-the-country assignment. But it's because the resource's skills aren't needed anymore by the team (so they say).

I was a bit concerned how the resource will be notified and when this resource's last day will be. She said, he was notified through email, and his last day was yesterday.

Funny, the resource went home last Thursday knowing that he is in a team where he can consider himself welcome, and at home. The following morning, it all vanished like a bubble. Now, tell me, the world isn't so cruel, huh?

The resource and I were working on something and since it was his last day, all he could do is hand me off whatever he has finished. No proper hand-off was made. All I received was an instant message: "Bossing pasa ko na sau work ko... Rolloff na ako."

Before I could even have said anything, he was gone.

 

*****

 

I have always loved going to any Mozzie gig. Most of the time, my attendance in every gig can be counted on. Well, just don't count the times I need to pass on a gig because I am being held hostage by work.

Hearing the news that Mozzie's percussionist was quitting came as a surprise. I'm not really part of the band but the news was daunting for me to accept. What's gonna happen to the Mozzie gigs? Is it the end of Mozzie?

The percussionist may be gone. But the gigs aren't over yet. Mozzie's gig in The Room Upstairs last night was a testament to that. I may have been drunk (oh dear), but I know it was once nice gig.

 

*****

 

Just when I heard Mozzie's percussionist broke off from the band, I heard two of my college friends deciding on tying the knot. We have long teased the couple that they should already jump into each other should the other proves to be insensitive about his/her feelings for each other. We all know that they do have feelings for each other, it's just that they kept on keeping it to themselves. After so much pushing and a truck-load of teasing, they got together and now they have decided to get married! YAY! :D

 

*****

 

Finally, I've completed it! I've completed redesigning the blog. It took me a good 2 months to finish it. Not that it was hard to do. It's just that I never found the drive and the inspiration to finish it. Well, nothing to worry about now, it's done!

j'ai eu assez, la partie deux

"Ano ba naman, ilang beses ko na kasi sinabi seio na tigilan mo na yan. Kapag nagkita tyo, hindi lang kita sasampalin. Ingungudngod na kita. Eh values nyo pa lang hindi na aligned, papaano pa sa ibang bagay?"

"Hay nako, there a lot of fishes in the sea. Sa sobrang dami, pati sea horses at starfishes pwede mo na rin patulan."


Honestly, tama ang sinabi sa akin. Pero yeah, natawa ako dun sa sea horses and starfishes. Hehe..

Thanks, Katre!

j'ai eu assez

I called in sick in the morning to cover up for the (yet again) time that I woke up -- 10:30am. Around 12 noon, I was on my feet preppin' up for work. It was a quarter past one when I was just about to leave, when I got a call from a friend. I thought it was going to be just like our usual conversation -- casual.

It was casual. It was so casual that the delivery of the news of his most recent breakup was nothing more like saying "I think I'll have a BigMac today."

The news sat right underneath my nose until it finally sank in. Gawd. A good 3 year relationship was over in just one snap. And I didn't even notice anything from him. Like I said, it was all too casual.

I would like to believe that he is too casual about it because he doesn't care about the relationship. But he's not like that. I think he is just trying to be strong and just get his life moving most especially these days now that he has several projects underway. I can never see myself in that kind of situation and then act soooo casual about it. Knowing me, I'd be one total wreck.

Which reminds me, I was a wreck a couple of months ago.
But now, I think I had enough of being a wreck.
Yeah.. moving on.

10 Minutes of Bliss

For some odd reason, I decided to log myself into YM through meebo during office hours. But since I don't really get to talk to people in YM in the office, I don't really check my meebo window that often.

As the day was about to end, I got a message from RED. I would admit it brought me to a state I couldn't explain. RED began with all the formalities of starting a conversation. Until it lead to the question.. "Can I call you?"

Even before the war in my head for a decision was through, I saw myself punching in my office number in the chat window. For the first time in months, I heard RED's bubbly voice. Our conversation lasted for a good 10 minutes or so if not being interrupted by another phone call for RED.

When I heard RED's "Hello", I felt this tinge as if all the cells in my body we're excited with what we (my cells and I) were hearing on the other line. Despite my excitement, I tried restraining myself. I was trying to be careful with what I say. I don't want to abrupty end the conversation with my foolishness or maybe stupidity.

Despite all the caution I did, I still found myself being held up by some of RED's questions. No matter how much I have prepared myself for it, I ended up being cornered with all but "NO COMMENT" as an answer. It was a lousy response but that's all I have left in my arsenal to keep myself from self humilation.

That phone conversation definitely made my day.
I may not be in heaven but I was happy.

An Unexpected Message

"Musta? Just thought of you. Heard Dreamgirls."

I never expected to hear anything from RED. Thinking RED would remember me is the last thing that'll ever cross my head these days. I may have constant thoughts of RED. But that's just it. Just thoughts. I don't know what to do with them. I have been doing my best to ward off these thoughts, but they just keep on coming back without any trace of ever fading.